Do this and live a peaceful life ahead…
One fine day I was scrolling through Youtube, my favourite place to learn new things. A video with a Title said: “The #1 SKILL Most People Suck At!”, by Varun Mayya caught my attention. Varun Mayya is a freelancer turned entrepreneur and currently the founder and CEO of Avalon Labs, a tech and blockchain company.
The video explained how most people suck at “not judging people quickly” And it did felt a lot relatable.
In my experience, people judge. A lot. Even by the smallest of innocent actions or any minor act of kindness. Heck, even by their appearances. Period.
This sucks. To the core. Trust me, I know ;)
Sooner or later, every one of us develops this tedious habit or rather an obsession of judging others, by very little or no information about them.
“Her skirt is so short, definitely a whore”
“They are always together, they must be in a relationship”
“The girl’s beating him, definitely must have done something wrong”
I can go forever. Such judgments are the automatic conclusions your brain makes after getting that tiny piece of info and within a fraction of a minute. I am not even exaggerating. Mostly, this info is the mere tip of the iceberg.
The problem with judging people so quickly:
Well, judging people is fun and games until it affects your thought process;) It messes with your decision-making skills.
Varun Mayya explained it in very simple words.
- Poor Decision making:
Judging is a very random act. And random things aren’t right. Most of the time.
When someone judges someone, he/she is predominantly making an assumption. Generally, this assumption can potentially give a wrong idea about the person being judged.
See what happened here? A random act leads to a wrong assumption ultimately leading to a wrong decision. This can weaken the decision-making ability of your brain.
This also gets us to our next point….
2. No Good Friends:
How can you make good friends, if you have wrong judgements about most of the people you come across? This can lead you to have a wrong idea about them and ultimately fewer people to make friends with.
3. You are always going to be wrong:
Because remember, what you know, is the tip of the iceberg. What you assume, might not be 100% true.
The Solution:
Stop judging yourself first.
This might sound a bit cliche but this is the first step.
I can almost guarantee the fact that the one who judges others, definitely judges himself too. So, Stop. Judging. Yourself. First.
So how should we do that?
I am a firm believer in meditation and practice it regularly. While surfing my truly Youtube for some meditation-related content, I came across this video by Fittuber which was a 12 minute follow along with a beginners guide for meditation.
One of the instructions that he gives while he meditates is to not judge your thoughts meditating. Do not judge your thoughts. Do not label them as “Good” or “Bad”. Just let them come and go. All you have to care is about your breath.
You may also see this as giving fewer fucks about your thoughts. Just let them come and go and continue focusing on your breath.
While this makes meditation easy, it also has a psychological benefit in the long run. By not labelling your thoughts, you break out of the loop of Judging your thoughts as good, bad or evil and dwelling upon them. You rather shift your focus back on your breath and go with the flow. No attention to the bullshit going in the head.
Practising this on a bigger scale is something that I believe, can change our perception of ourselves. When you stop judging yourself, you set yourself free from the misery and sabotage that the judgment brings to you.
So start being kind to yourself so you can be kind to others.
Final Word:
If you want to change the world, change yourself first. Neither you nor I can keep someone from judging. On the contrary, we can control whom we judge ;)
Stop judging yourself for the tiniest of mistakes you do. Fuck ups are a part of life. All you gotta do is Zoom out, see the big picture and go with the flow.
Practise this, and you will find yourself in a less judgemental, happier and most importantly, a more peaceful state of mind.
